Oil spill?Gay people? Local news? Where are you going with this?

While looking at a recap of the Miguel Cotto vs. Yuri Foreman super welter weight boxing match on the New York Times website, I noticed a column entitled, "Gay? Whatever,dude." The article states that for the first time, according to this Gallup poll, "the percentage of Americans who perceive “gay and lesbian relations” as morally acceptable has crossed the 50 percent mark."

The poll also found that the percentage change was accentuated by a higher acceptance rate from younger men. As a younger man myself (and a quite studly one at that) I think I could find this to be true. I couldn't care less if people are gay and they can do whatever they want as long as nobody's getting hurt, well, unless you're into that sort of thing, then I guess fuckin' giver! But seriously, in all seriousness, and for the sake of being serious, I seriously think gay people are just that: people. Seriously.

Now you may be thinking after reading the title of this blog post,"What the hell does the terrible oil spill have to do with the perception of gays?"and you'd be thinking right. The writer of the article linked above started his column with this:

Last week, while many of us were distracted by the oil belching forth from the gulf floor and the president’s ham-handed attempts to demonstrate that he was sufficiently engaged and enraged, Gallup released a stunning, and little noticed, report on Americans’ evolving views of homosexuality...

No offense to gay people and the problems they face but NO SHIT?! THE OIL SPILL THAT IS QUITE POSSIBLY ONE OF THE WORST ENVIRONMENTAL DISASTERS EVER, HAS DISTRACTED PEOPLE FROM SOME POLL!!!

The thing is that even if there wasn't an oil spill, this story about said poll would be a little blip at best. Guess why? The media only want to report death, murder, mayhem, suffering, and a myriad of other insignificant mind pollutants like the dog and pony show coming to town.

Most suckers watching will eat that shit up with a knife and fork.

Watch any news broadcast and it almost always undoubtedly has death, suffering, and the like. Anything to suck the viewer in to watch the daily obituaries.

For example, tonight on my local news the main stories were a kid getting his arm impaled, finding a dead body, a story about provincial politics that enrages everyone no matter what side of the story your on, kids being vandals and smashing windows of a school, a bunch of people's houses burning down, a teacher being a child pornographer, and of course the standard random act of violence that will no doubt shock the viewer.

Now I know these things should be reported, yes it is news, but don't you wonder why the child having his arm impaled was the number one story? Here's the answer...they had footage of it. Who called this in? Why was this kid's painful accident broadcast everywhere? I mean really, you're telling me there just happened to be news trucks and cameras around to get the dramatic footage of the child going to the hospital and his mangled arm and they just happened to hear about this kid?

It's all a load of horseshit. I think what really irritates me is the way it's reported. It never feels like you are just being told a story about something that happened, it always feels sensationalized and overdone. The other thing that pisses me off is that they do all this drudgery and fear mongering etc, then they go right into the weather!

News Anchor: ...at least 12 children were decapitated instantly. Speaking of losing your head, I think I am going to go crazy if we don't get some gosh darn sun this weekend Sally!

Weather girl Sally: Well we might not be so lucky Jim if you look at today's Doppler forecast. I know I'd KILL for some sun this weekend tee hee!

What else do these stories have in common though? Figure it out yet? They are all relatable! All of these things COULD HAPPEN TO YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW! OH IT'S SUCH AN AWFUL WORLD! YOU BETTER TUNE IN TO OUR BROADCAST TONIGHT! LOOK OUT FOR ALL THE DEATH! MURDER!KILLER CAR/PRODUCT RECALLS! POISON FOOD! RAPE! CAR ACCIDENTS, NATURAL DISASTERS,FOREIGN DEVILS, NON WHITE PEOPLE DOING BAD THINGS...IT NEVER ENDS!!!

The news will always have all these things, in fact add in an animal attack/bestiality angle and you have got the number one news broadcast in town!

The local news media's wet dream would be if a local high profile politician/sports star/celebrity and his/her family, got killed in a gang related murder, at the zoo, undoubtedly by foreign gangsters who live in our country on YOUR tax dollar, who with reckless abandon, drive by shoot the politician/sports star/celebrity (who was also having an affair with A BLACK MAN/PROSTITUTE/SMALL BARNYARD ANIMAL!) and his/her totally innocent/unaware family UNKNOWINGLY leap into the tiger pit to get out of the way of the careening gangster filled DEATH CAR and are HORRIFICALLY killed and mauled by the ferocious tigers but also, the gangsters lose control of their faulty Toyota car and crash into the penguin cage, killing penguin and gangster alike, and the car explodes causing a chain reaction that lets the endangered polar bears escape and they have to be killed after they go on a rape spree because they were jacked up on polar bear viagra because the zoo officials were trying to get them to breed because of the dwindling polar bear population and it turns out the local politician/sports star/celebrity was selling drugs to children/molesting them and was also smuggling large quantities of drugs in the zoo animals that were brought into the zoo that he/she opened/endorsed/cut the opening day ribbon of, and the zoo was not well received by the tax payers/environmentalists/animal rights activists, because it was a money pit the everyday working man/woman was on the hook for whether they wanted to be or not and that's why the local politician/sports star/celebrity was at the zoo because he/she thought they were there to make sure a new shipment of ECSTASY disguised as FLINTSTONE'S VITAMINS was coming in from the foreign countries that make all the drugs, inside the unwilling rectums of innocent baby seals but little did he/she know that it was all a setup for an assassination plot and now the poor viewing public will tune into the local news to find out that the serene little burg they once lived in would be forever marred by the horrid tale of the politician/sports star/celebrity who was a child molesting, drug smuggler/dealer, who was having extra marital affairs and swindled the public and also abused animals in terrible ways!!!


I also found the guy who wrote the original article about gay acceptance name to be funny. His name? Charles Blow...huh huh huh huh huh huh huh

Get it? Blow? Gay? Anyways...

I originally started writing this to say that it was a strange leap writing wise to go from the oil spill to people's opinions on gay people but look what strange leaps I made! Somehow from reading a boxing article I found an article about gay people and I turned it into how the news media works! My mind works like when you look at videos on youtube...you start out looking at drunk elephants and wind up an hour later watching a video on how to make fake poop...