Facebook...

With the new movie The Social Network coming out about the creator of Facebook (starring that kid that owes his whole career to Michael Cera turning roles down) what better time to write about that thing on the internet that we all can't live without?

Ever notice most people overstate the obvious on Facebook? Do you really have to click on CLICK LIKE IF YOU HATE KID TOUCHERS! to prove your against pedophiles?

But if I don't click like people will think I am for kid touching!

Isn't it the general consensus that you should be against that? Do you really need to broadcast that on Facebook?

Then people get on there and say they love their kids. No shit eh? Aren't you supposed to? I'd like it just one time if I seen someone say they hate their kids and wish they hadn't had that one drunken night at the Taco Time Drive Thru...

Of course there are people who have to state they like things that are so common that there is no way in the world nobody hasn't done them.

Joe Blow likes breathing, Joe Blow likes the sun, Joe Blow likes orgasms. WHO DOESN'T LIKE ORGASMS JOE !?!

Of course there are the things like:

Sally Dumb Ass likes: When random words are spelled in Alphabet soup!

Joe Blow likes: When you yawn and make your cat yawn too!

Joe Blow likes: When Blankets are warm out of the dryer!

NOBODY CARES!

It all amounts to wasting time when you are reduced to clicking like on such obvious things.

Then there are the things that are overtly weird to click like on. The things that other people see and think you are funny for clicking like on even though you didn't have the thought that thing is about. Stuff like:

Joe Blow likes: When homeless men get killed by dragons, building functioning sex toys out of Lego, that monkey that sniffs its own butt and falls out of a tree, snorting pixie sticks, drawing nude pictures of Gandhi, when your crap piles up an inch above the water in the toilet, click like if you hate it when your suit of armor chafes your groin, after sneezing you look in the kleenex there are spiders in it, when your nipple clamps seize up, giving hand jobs to get free bus rides, squirrel enemas, ordering pizzas with koalas on it, finding out your real dad's identity on Maury Povich, smelling Wayne Cox's shoes, Barbicide, Godzilla's taint, writing your name in the snow with your pee even though you're a woman, when you were young and your parents got murdered on Xmas morning, giving foreigners the wrong directions just for fun, doing bong hits with a horse, not aging gracefully, calling Dial-A-Prayer and trying to have phone sex, fingering an owl, reenacting the debut of the Shockmaster at my family reunion, that weird smell when they clean the Slurpee machine at 7-11, writing a novel after huffing paint, carving Smurfs, writing erotic braille, rubbing those tree air fresheners on your nuts when you have to go somewhere after going to the gym because you can't get to a shower, calling a vagina a lunch box, putting a sock on a cat's head and watching it walk backwards, deep throating a slinky, getting into a duel at a senior citizen's home, etc etc etc...

CLICKING LIKE! I AM ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT CLICKING LIKE ON SOMETHING!!! Damn that kid that invented Facebook! What the shit is going on anymore? I click like on shit all the time to tell everyone shit I like! I have an urge to let people know hey look at this stuff I think is cool so in turn maybe you'll think I am cool!


PS

Please click like on this when I post this on Facebook, it makes me feel like I am important...