Thursday, May 3, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
RIP Jan Berenstain...
As I listen to Metallica's "King Nothing" for no other apparent reason other than it was mentioned in a review of their show in Vancouver in like 1997, I lament the loss of Berenstain Bear co-creator Jan Berenstain. You see I actually owned one of their books as a wee lad and I really liked it because the kid bears had a fuckin' cool fort in it.
This is the exact book...
Well sadly I found out that Jan passed away the other day at the age of 88 and it made me think of that book. It also made me think of the totally hilarious parodies of those cute little bearsies...
These are real issues YOUR KIDS will have to deal with...
Another real problem...
And who could forget the classic...
Stoned bears that wear clothes are almost as bad as those ones on tv who don't know how to wipe their asses...
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Heart Warming...PLEASE SHARE...
The following is something I was forwarded that just really touched my heart and I had to share it, you just don't see good ol' fashioned family values and togetherness and bonding like this often in this day and age...
I just wanted to share this story about my daughter Abigail and the family dog and thought I would post some of her artwork, (We call her our little artist haha!) as it's interesting to see the world through the eyes of a child. Sometimes they are the only ones who see what is really going on in this crazy, go-go, iPhone world we live in...
You see, our 8-year-old dog Persimmons had to be put down last month. I guess he went down the street and ate a bunch of Ol' Man Peterson's chickens and well you know what you have to do when that happens.
I knew I had to do what was right for both Persimmons and Abby so I sent Abby out into the woods to cut down a tree to get the wood needed for her to construct a fully functioning 22 cal. rifle to shoot poor 'chicken crazy' Persimmons.
I immediately put Abby to task (she took to it quite well I might add, she might be our Lil' Gunsmith too!) and she began to plane the wood down to a reasonable size plank that I would buck up after. She didn't like it at first but she got the hang of it, showing true spirit American craftsmanship at such a young age!
Since we decided to send away for the barrel and other parts of the gun I figured the next thing she could do while she waited was to make her own ammunition to shoot poor little Persimmons. She stode forth boldy, knowing that as fun as it is to make bullets, the sad but necessary task still laid ahead of her.
The day that was penciled in for the shooting of Persimmons,Abby was crying and talking about how much she was going to miss Persimmons. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Persimmons got to heaven, God would recognize him. I told her that I thought we could so, and she wrote this letter:
We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abby and Persimmons and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Abby pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to "God's Sky Palace in Heaven". That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.
Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, 'To Abigail' in an unfamiliar hand. Our Lil' Artist opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, 'When a Pet Dies.' Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abby & Persimmons and this note:
From the Desk of THE LORD:
Persimmons arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help and I recognized him right away. He had a few holes in him just like when my son came back here haha! At least you didn't nail Persimmons to some boards!
So yeah, Persimmons is fine up here. He is here with me and he wanted to say that he loved being your dog. Almost as much as he liked to eat chickens!
Thank you for the beautiful letter but no thanks to your mother or father since it's clear they didn't help you write it.(Good thing I am all knowing since I could barely decipher it.)Anyways, just so you know,all your pets will die(especially sea monkeys)and well I am responsible for it since I work in "mysterious ways." Also, so will you and anyone you care about but just so you know I'm easy to find. Usually I am telling crazy people who to kill but all you need to do is pray but...it's probably better to text me at 3333-LORD(5673)*STANDARD TEXT MSG RATES APPLY*
Dictated but not read,your pal,God.
I got her brother Nathan to dig poor Persimmons a grave being as all he ever seems to do is dig holes in the yard. I suppose there is worse habits to have but it's just kind of odd for a boy his age to be obsessed with digging holes. I guess I am saying I wish he'd play baseball or something but he just loves digging those darn holes. Day in and day out with the digging that kid. Well for once it came in handy but we didn't want to be for burying a friend of the family like Persimmons.
Don't say you're too busy to forward this. Just go ahead and do it
I just wanted to share this story about my daughter Abigail and the family dog and thought I would post some of her artwork, (We call her our little artist haha!) as it's interesting to see the world through the eyes of a child. Sometimes they are the only ones who see what is really going on in this crazy, go-go, iPhone world we live in...
 |
| Abby and Persimmons at a better time... |
You see, our 8-year-old dog Persimmons had to be put down last month. I guess he went down the street and ate a bunch of Ol' Man Peterson's chickens and well you know what you have to do when that happens.
I knew I had to do what was right for both Persimmons and Abby so I sent Abby out into the woods to cut down a tree to get the wood needed for her to construct a fully functioning 22 cal. rifle to shoot poor 'chicken crazy' Persimmons.
 |
| Abigail cutting down a tree, so proud of her! |
I immediately put Abby to task (she took to it quite well I might add, she might be our Lil' Gunsmith too!) and she began to plane the wood down to a reasonable size plank that I would buck up after. She didn't like it at first but she got the hang of it, showing true spirit American craftsmanship at such a young age!
 |
| Abby hard at work! |
 |
| Abby delicately measuring gun powder! |
Since we decided to send away for the barrel and other parts of the gun I figured the next thing she could do while she waited was to make her own ammunition to shoot poor little Persimmons. She stode forth boldy, knowing that as fun as it is to make bullets, the sad but necessary task still laid ahead of her.
The day that was penciled in for the shooting of Persimmons,Abby was crying and talking about how much she was going to miss Persimmons. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Persimmons got to heaven, God would recognize him. I told her that I thought we could so, and she wrote this letter:
We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abby and Persimmons and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Abby pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to "God's Sky Palace in Heaven". That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.
Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, 'To Abigail' in an unfamiliar hand. Our Lil' Artist opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, 'When a Pet Dies.' Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abby & Persimmons and this note:
From the Desk of THE LORD:
Persimmons arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help and I recognized him right away. He had a few holes in him just like when my son came back here haha! At least you didn't nail Persimmons to some boards!
So yeah, Persimmons is fine up here. He is here with me and he wanted to say that he loved being your dog. Almost as much as he liked to eat chickens!
Thank you for the beautiful letter but no thanks to your mother or father since it's clear they didn't help you write it.(Good thing I am all knowing since I could barely decipher it.)Anyways, just so you know,all your pets will die(especially sea monkeys)and well I am responsible for it since I work in "mysterious ways." Also, so will you and anyone you care about but just so you know I'm easy to find. Usually I am telling crazy people who to kill but all you need to do is pray but...it's probably better to text me at 3333-LORD(5673)*STANDARD TEXT MSG RATES APPLY*
Dictated but not read,your pal,God.
I got her brother Nathan to dig poor Persimmons a grave being as all he ever seems to do is dig holes in the yard. I suppose there is worse habits to have but it's just kind of odd for a boy his age to be obsessed with digging holes. I guess I am saying I wish he'd play baseball or something but he just loves digging those darn holes. Day in and day out with the digging that kid. Well for once it came in handy but we didn't want to be for burying a friend of the family like Persimmons.
 |
| My boy Nathan as drawn by Abby, proud of his grave digging skills! |
Don't say you're too busy to forward this. Just go ahead and do it
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Dumb All Over...
Dumb All Over is a song by Frank Zappa. In that song he pretty much explains the ways of the moronic populous of this planet we all inhabit. (See lyrics)
Religion is still the number one cause of war but it is also a great cause of idiocy as well. The religious populous has too much control and power in the good ol' US of A. They have so much of an influence that President Barack Obama had to go to church all of a sudden during his campaign (naturally it was just a photo op) even though he was never a regular parishioner of the church he was photographed at. Why? To pander to the salivating religious zealots that unfortunately hold the sway in voting down that way. He HAD to go make it look like he goes to church and that was enough for the few voters that were having their vote hinge on whether or not their future president goes to a building of their liking every once in awhile! Think about that! Even though they know he went there just to appease them and it came out that he was not a regular church goer, that was enough to alleviate their idiotic demands.
The not so new thing I find more disturbing is the religious fanatics seem to be getting more into power and they are pushing something that is worse than just outright wanting to kill those who opposed them. Morals. The "MORAL MAJORITY" is rearing their ugly head again in a form that is somehow more idiotic, more reprehensible, more outright loony, than ever before.
Recently there was a big surge in "grassroots" politics. The people want less, as they coined it, "BIG GOVERNMENT" and a group of political representatives that spoke for the common man and for the down home goodness of the apple pie cooling in the window sill America of yore...
The Tea Party is a gaggle of morons who are allegedly "conservative" which is really a code word for "RELIGIOUS FANATIC." Don't believe me? Here are some interesting factoids about the views of the glorious Tea Party:
A University of Washington poll of registered voters in the State of Washington found that 73% of the voters who identified as Tea Party members disapprove of President Obama engaging with Muslim Countries. 82% do not think gay and lesbian couples should have the same right to marriage as heterosexuals have and about 52% agreed that, "lesbians and gays have too much political power."
Now what do all of these viewpoints sound like to you? To me they sounds like typical religious rhetoric that all stems from the age old tradition of religious folk thinking they know what is right for everyone.
Here's the another hot button issue as they say, an all time classic no-no for the religious...ABORTION!
The Tea Party representatives in Washington D.C. are Republicans, and as we know their track record for controversial issues is not so great. So to get back on track, recently there was a big controversy over cutting funding to what is known in the US as, "Planned Parenthood" which provides reproductive health and maternal and child health services. This generality of what they do covers the wide ranges of services but of course the religious right only sees it as UNCLE SLEAZY'S BIG HOUSE OF ABORTION! 9 ABORTIONS AND THE 10th IS FREE!
THEY ARE USING OUR TAX DOLLARS TO KILL BABIES! WE ARE AGAINST THAT!
Well unfortunately for the Tea Party, only "3 percent of its operations go to performing abortions, while fully 84 percent goes to contraception and screenings for sexually transmitted diseases and cancer."
*quoted from this article*
I have read numerous articles, facebook group posts, etc, that tell of women going to use the Planned Parenthood for mammograms and such things because they simply can't afford to with their health plans or lack thereof and they would have never gotten the service otherwise. How is that the Tea Party and Republicans are against ANYTHING that helps people but they are all for BIG BUSINESS? How does that work?
It all is under the guise of morals that we have to face this idiocy. By morals, the Tea Party and Republicans really mean religious values. They are against abortion in all cases. Rape, incest, even in cases where if they don't do it,the mother will die.
How can a person in their right mind be against a woman getting an abortion if the pregnancy was cause by rape and incest?! That certainly would make for an awkward Father's Day...
"Hey Timmy, you know that Uncle of yours that you never see? Yeah he forcibly had sex with Mommy and that's how we had you, my little inbred miracle!"
It is disgusting to think that people who have such moronic viewpoints have so much control and or want to have so much control over people. All for their supposed "morals."
Supposed "morality" is also a major cause of trouble here in Canada and even on local levels I see it poking it's ugly head through things.
A recent study has proven that the Vancouver's controversial Safe Injection site, has given Vancouver a 31% drop in overdose deaths but it's still facing high opposition. Something that is keeping addicts healthy, therefore keeping them out of our hospitals and clogging up an already overfilled medical system, is opposed? Oh wait I know why it's because of the drugs they are doing...they aren't the right ones...the cool ones...
Yesterday in the mail I received a notice that the city of Port Coquitlam are planning to build a bathroom in a local park. Naturally there is opposition to it because the group of concerned residents says and I quote right from the pamphlet:
We believe the addition of a bathroom in our park will compromise the safety of the residents and will :
-INCREASE THE NUMBER OF NIGHT VISITORS TO THE PARK
-PROVIDE SAFE HAVEN FOR CONDUCTING DRUG DEALS
-PROVIDE A SAFE HAVEN FOR DRINKING, PARTYING, AND DRUG TAKING
-PROVIDE ANOTHER STRUCTURE FOR GRAFFITI
-INCREASE THE AMOUNT OF VEHICULAR TRAFFIC
They go on to say that, "even if the bathroom is locked at some point during the night, the structure, by it's very nature will provide a concealed area for EXPANDED ILLICIT ACTIVITIES!
So apparently opening this washroom in the park will make it the new downtown east side. Well I better vote against it. Never mind that the people who are against this bathroom's lousy kids would probably be the ones doing any of the listed activities. Kids never party around in parks at night, kids never do drugs, kids never make graffiti, nope, all this will happen when the DRUG CARTELS hear there is a NEW BATHROOM IN A PARK to set up shop. Who knows, maybe even hookers will be able to set up there too, what a venue for illegal commerce. I for one can't wait to go to there and buy an eight ball, get blown by a whore, and buy some illegal bootleg dvds at the bathroom in the park.
Where is the line drawn? They make it seem like Scarface is coming to town! It is very NIMBY of them. Not in my back yard always wins out it seems.
Why don't they close down 7-11? I have seen more drug deals there then at any park and it's right beside the Community Policing Station. Why don't they close down the bar where on any given night someone is chopping rails in the bathroom because cocaine makes sitting in a pub and watching hockey that much better? Why don't they close down parks and forests altogether because that's where kids go to party and do other nefarious acts of self harm.
What about all the good upstanding people who have fake painkiller prescriptions? You ever notice the signs they have about painkiller prescriptions at the pharmacies now? About how they can only fill a certain amount of painkiller prescriptions...you know why they have to do this? Because people are addicted to painkillers. Why are they addicted to them? Because they are the same type of drug that heroin is. In fact, that is what heroin was invented as, a painkiller. But it's not heroin unless I shoot it so this is not as bad right? There is no difference to me other than the painkillers in the pharmacies don't ravage your body as much. They do however kill you just as easy, and possibly worse.
In Florida, the prescription pain medication addiction is so bad that 5 people a day DIE from it. But do you hear about that at all? NOPE...all you hear about is how we have to stop these drug addicts from getting their safe injections. We have to stop people from getting abortions because that is murder in the eyes of our invisible master!
When you really stop and look at what people prioritize and rally against, it makes you wonder what the fuck is going on. Why is that we rally against things that don't matter. There is no common goals, no such thing as human decency. A ridiculous dream that doesn't exist...
A scene from Terminator 2 sums things up better than I can:
Religion is still the number one cause of war but it is also a great cause of idiocy as well. The religious populous has too much control and power in the good ol' US of A. They have so much of an influence that President Barack Obama had to go to church all of a sudden during his campaign (naturally it was just a photo op) even though he was never a regular parishioner of the church he was photographed at. Why? To pander to the salivating religious zealots that unfortunately hold the sway in voting down that way. He HAD to go make it look like he goes to church and that was enough for the few voters that were having their vote hinge on whether or not their future president goes to a building of their liking every once in awhile! Think about that! Even though they know he went there just to appease them and it came out that he was not a regular church goer, that was enough to alleviate their idiotic demands.
The not so new thing I find more disturbing is the religious fanatics seem to be getting more into power and they are pushing something that is worse than just outright wanting to kill those who opposed them. Morals. The "MORAL MAJORITY" is rearing their ugly head again in a form that is somehow more idiotic, more reprehensible, more outright loony, than ever before.
Recently there was a big surge in "grassroots" politics. The people want less, as they coined it, "BIG GOVERNMENT" and a group of political representatives that spoke for the common man and for the down home goodness of the apple pie cooling in the window sill America of yore...
Not a bad idea when you look at it like that is it? Less government and representatives that are more in tune with the man or woman in the street...well unfortunately for our Yankee counterparts these ideals are being put forth by what we have all come to know as "The Tea Party."
Not this Tea Party...
Not this Tea Party...The Tea Party is a gaggle of morons who are allegedly "conservative" which is really a code word for "RELIGIOUS FANATIC." Don't believe me? Here are some interesting factoids about the views of the glorious Tea Party:
A University of Washington poll of registered voters in the State of Washington found that 73% of the voters who identified as Tea Party members disapprove of President Obama engaging with Muslim Countries. 82% do not think gay and lesbian couples should have the same right to marriage as heterosexuals have and about 52% agreed that, "lesbians and gays have too much political power."
Now what do all of these viewpoints sound like to you? To me they sounds like typical religious rhetoric that all stems from the age old tradition of religious folk thinking they know what is right for everyone.
Here's the another hot button issue as they say, an all time classic no-no for the religious...ABORTION!
The Tea Party representatives in Washington D.C. are Republicans, and as we know their track record for controversial issues is not so great. So to get back on track, recently there was a big controversy over cutting funding to what is known in the US as, "Planned Parenthood" which provides reproductive health and maternal and child health services. This generality of what they do covers the wide ranges of services but of course the religious right only sees it as UNCLE SLEAZY'S BIG HOUSE OF ABORTION! 9 ABORTIONS AND THE 10th IS FREE!
THEY ARE USING OUR TAX DOLLARS TO KILL BABIES! WE ARE AGAINST THAT!
Well unfortunately for the Tea Party, only "3 percent of its operations go to performing abortions, while fully 84 percent goes to contraception and screenings for sexually transmitted diseases and cancer."
I have read numerous articles, facebook group posts, etc, that tell of women going to use the Planned Parenthood for mammograms and such things because they simply can't afford to with their health plans or lack thereof and they would have never gotten the service otherwise. How is that the Tea Party and Republicans are against ANYTHING that helps people but they are all for BIG BUSINESS? How does that work?
It all is under the guise of morals that we have to face this idiocy. By morals, the Tea Party and Republicans really mean religious values. They are against abortion in all cases. Rape, incest, even in cases where if they don't do it,the mother will die.
How can a person in their right mind be against a woman getting an abortion if the pregnancy was cause by rape and incest?! That certainly would make for an awkward Father's Day...
"Hey Timmy, you know that Uncle of yours that you never see? Yeah he forcibly had sex with Mommy and that's how we had you, my little inbred miracle!"
It is disgusting to think that people who have such moronic viewpoints have so much control and or want to have so much control over people. All for their supposed "morals."
Supposed "morality" is also a major cause of trouble here in Canada and even on local levels I see it poking it's ugly head through things.
A recent study has proven that the Vancouver's controversial Safe Injection site, has given Vancouver a 31% drop in overdose deaths but it's still facing high opposition. Something that is keeping addicts healthy, therefore keeping them out of our hospitals and clogging up an already overfilled medical system, is opposed? Oh wait I know why it's because of the drugs they are doing...they aren't the right ones...the cool ones...
Yesterday in the mail I received a notice that the city of Port Coquitlam are planning to build a bathroom in a local park. Naturally there is opposition to it because the group of concerned residents says and I quote right from the pamphlet:
We believe the addition of a bathroom in our park will compromise the safety of the residents and will :
-INCREASE THE NUMBER OF NIGHT VISITORS TO THE PARK
-PROVIDE SAFE HAVEN FOR CONDUCTING DRUG DEALS
-PROVIDE A SAFE HAVEN FOR DRINKING, PARTYING, AND DRUG TAKING
-PROVIDE ANOTHER STRUCTURE FOR GRAFFITI
-INCREASE THE AMOUNT OF VEHICULAR TRAFFIC
They go on to say that, "even if the bathroom is locked at some point during the night, the structure, by it's very nature will provide a concealed area for EXPANDED ILLICIT ACTIVITIES!
So apparently opening this washroom in the park will make it the new downtown east side. Well I better vote against it. Never mind that the people who are against this bathroom's lousy kids would probably be the ones doing any of the listed activities. Kids never party around in parks at night, kids never do drugs, kids never make graffiti, nope, all this will happen when the DRUG CARTELS hear there is a NEW BATHROOM IN A PARK to set up shop. Who knows, maybe even hookers will be able to set up there too, what a venue for illegal commerce. I for one can't wait to go to there and buy an eight ball, get blown by a whore, and buy some illegal bootleg dvds at the bathroom in the park.
Where is the line drawn? They make it seem like Scarface is coming to town! It is very NIMBY of them. Not in my back yard always wins out it seems.
Why don't they close down 7-11? I have seen more drug deals there then at any park and it's right beside the Community Policing Station. Why don't they close down the bar where on any given night someone is chopping rails in the bathroom because cocaine makes sitting in a pub and watching hockey that much better? Why don't they close down parks and forests altogether because that's where kids go to party and do other nefarious acts of self harm.
What about all the good upstanding people who have fake painkiller prescriptions? You ever notice the signs they have about painkiller prescriptions at the pharmacies now? About how they can only fill a certain amount of painkiller prescriptions...you know why they have to do this? Because people are addicted to painkillers. Why are they addicted to them? Because they are the same type of drug that heroin is. In fact, that is what heroin was invented as, a painkiller. But it's not heroin unless I shoot it so this is not as bad right? There is no difference to me other than the painkillers in the pharmacies don't ravage your body as much. They do however kill you just as easy, and possibly worse.
In Florida, the prescription pain medication addiction is so bad that 5 people a day DIE from it. But do you hear about that at all? NOPE...all you hear about is how we have to stop these drug addicts from getting their safe injections. We have to stop people from getting abortions because that is murder in the eyes of our invisible master!
When you really stop and look at what people prioritize and rally against, it makes you wonder what the fuck is going on. Why is that we rally against things that don't matter. There is no common goals, no such thing as human decency. A ridiculous dream that doesn't exist...
A scene from Terminator 2 sums things up better than I can:
John Connor: We're not going to make it are we? People I mean.
The Terminator: It's in your nature to destroy yourselves.
John Connor: Yeah, major drag huh...
The Terminator: It's in your nature to destroy yourselves.
John Connor: Yeah, major drag huh...
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
World of Shit (The Promised Land)
It has been a long time since I have written anything but I made a vow to myself that I would only write this thing when I am inspired to do so. I know some people I know will not agree or like what I have to say in this post but you know what, I don't care. I really don't. All I ask for is for you to try and be objective and look at from both sides. I know that people are going to read this and tell me I am wrong and all this other shit but I think it's to be expected.
Today, I came across an article that stated that the recently sworn in new Premier of British Columbia, Christy Clark, is pressing our Prime Minister Stephen Harper to approve the opening of the already denied "Prosperity Mine" which is located west of my hometown of Williams Lake.
Newsflash for her and all the people who have their collective heads in the clouds and think this ridiculous mine are going to save families and give everyone jobs...IT ISN'T GOING TO DO SHIT!
First things first, if you look at the unemployment rate of Williams Lake, it is said to be around 8-9% which works out to about 900 people of the entire community. Now this environmental disaster waiting to happen is supposedly going to give something like 300-350 jobs total, but don't quote me. That's hardly fixing all the employment issues in the community and while it is 300 new jobs that's only for 20-25 years tops. So after that everything goes back to where we are now? Who says that every person that is unemployed can or will be able to work at the mine as well? Do you really think they are going to hire ALL local and train everyone beforehand or is much more likely that they will get people to come in and get the mine fired up as soon as possible so THEY can get the money rolling faster? Then they will give locals menial jobs and pay them high so the worker thinks hey this is pretty good and meanwhile they are raking in the lion's share of minerals and cash that isn't theirs.
This also brings up the bigger conundrum of Aboriginal Land Titles. This mine is on the land that natives were segregated to and is supposedly theirs to do what they want with. So if that's the case, then shouldn't they honor the segregation they imposed on them? How is it that can just pick and choose what treaties and laws and other bullshit to abide by or do they loophole their way through everything?
Look at it this way, if the local Indian bands came and just started to dig up shit like the mining companies that came out west and did that on your property or your summer home, you'd hear about it for weeks on end in the newspapers and on the news and there would have been arrests and all kinds of other bullshit.
Like I said earlier, how is 20-25 years of employment going to solve everything? Instant gratification is the name of the game I figure. People just hear one thing and like the band-aid solutions. Because you personally now, as a resident of Williams Lake, will have a job for awhile, it justifies ruining a large section of the country just so you can go out and get stoned and drunk on the weekend more? People's shortsightedness is sickening to me and when you make the argument that we're going to screw future generations out of work you show that you don't see that by the time some of your kids and grand kids can work there, the mine could already be closed or they would be employed for 3-5 years. It's not a renewable resource. Hell, I am more for logging then this mine and I don't even agree with most of the logging policies!
Here is another point I would like to make. How is it that a environment destroying mega project such as this mine can seemingly get carte blanche yet when the Tsawassen First Nation has been approached by companies to introduce waste to energy incinerators through proper channels, it was met with such fervent opposition? These incinerators are very clean and would help reduce the use of giant landfills such as the one in Cache Creek where most of the Lower Mainland's garbage goes now.
The answer of course is the typical politicians on all levels PANDERING to the not in my back yard yokels that are the only dildos who are going to these town meetings and sadly are the people who still go out and vote. They say the smoke will be coming into Delta and the Fraser Valley and ruining air quality...I got news for ya assholes, as soon as you leave the lower mainland and go up north anywhere, you'll see that you have shit air quality as it is.
Here's an interesting little piece of information about said incinerators from Tsawassen Chief Kim Baird: (From the Abbotsford News, December 9th 2009)"The science speaks pretty clearly about that particular issue,"she said. "It's pretty compelling when a fireworks display lets out more emissions in 15 minutes than a waste-to-energy plant does in a year."
Now I am sure some will say, "oh yeah she's just drinking the Kool-Aid, she stands to get money so of course she is all for this." Well here's something for you chuckleheads that think that way. France has a giant trash to energy incinerator right in downtown Paris. In fact, it is not that far from the Eiffel Tower! The new plants such as this have many ways to get rid of odors and emissions.
Here is a review from this environmental website: Of course, modern plant is not like that; it is virtually non-polluting and certainly not smelling. A couple of years ago, I visited a plant in Lausanne, Switzerland and was impressed at just how odourless and clean it was.
With the Lower Mainland's dump in Cache Creek quickly approaching capacity along with most of our other options for trash disposal being the same state, why wouldn't this be streamlined in to action? Because our favorite pals in government can use to their advantage with the addle minded, NIMBY fucks that are going to vote for them and they can in turn push their parties agendas.
When you realize that none of the malformed inhuman mutants who inhabit the government don't care about you AT ALL and that they only want to push what they think is right, the sooner you'll realize that nothing you do or say really matters. It basically boils down to that you have to vote for the party that is least screwing you in the butthole with no lube...
Today, I came across an article that stated that the recently sworn in new Premier of British Columbia, Christy Clark, is pressing our Prime Minister Stephen Harper to approve the opening of the already denied "Prosperity Mine" which is located west of my hometown of Williams Lake.
Newsflash for her and all the people who have their collective heads in the clouds and think this ridiculous mine are going to save families and give everyone jobs...IT ISN'T GOING TO DO SHIT!
First things first, if you look at the unemployment rate of Williams Lake, it is said to be around 8-9% which works out to about 900 people of the entire community. Now this environmental disaster waiting to happen is supposedly going to give something like 300-350 jobs total, but don't quote me. That's hardly fixing all the employment issues in the community and while it is 300 new jobs that's only for 20-25 years tops. So after that everything goes back to where we are now? Who says that every person that is unemployed can or will be able to work at the mine as well? Do you really think they are going to hire ALL local and train everyone beforehand or is much more likely that they will get people to come in and get the mine fired up as soon as possible so THEY can get the money rolling faster? Then they will give locals menial jobs and pay them high so the worker thinks hey this is pretty good and meanwhile they are raking in the lion's share of minerals and cash that isn't theirs.
This also brings up the bigger conundrum of Aboriginal Land Titles. This mine is on the land that natives were segregated to and is supposedly theirs to do what they want with. So if that's the case, then shouldn't they honor the segregation they imposed on them? How is it that can just pick and choose what treaties and laws and other bullshit to abide by or do they loophole their way through everything?
Look at it this way, if the local Indian bands came and just started to dig up shit like the mining companies that came out west and did that on your property or your summer home, you'd hear about it for weeks on end in the newspapers and on the news and there would have been arrests and all kinds of other bullshit.
Like I said earlier, how is 20-25 years of employment going to solve everything? Instant gratification is the name of the game I figure. People just hear one thing and like the band-aid solutions. Because you personally now, as a resident of Williams Lake, will have a job for awhile, it justifies ruining a large section of the country just so you can go out and get stoned and drunk on the weekend more? People's shortsightedness is sickening to me and when you make the argument that we're going to screw future generations out of work you show that you don't see that by the time some of your kids and grand kids can work there, the mine could already be closed or they would be employed for 3-5 years. It's not a renewable resource. Hell, I am more for logging then this mine and I don't even agree with most of the logging policies!
Here is another point I would like to make. How is it that a environment destroying mega project such as this mine can seemingly get carte blanche yet when the Tsawassen First Nation has been approached by companies to introduce waste to energy incinerators through proper channels, it was met with such fervent opposition? These incinerators are very clean and would help reduce the use of giant landfills such as the one in Cache Creek where most of the Lower Mainland's garbage goes now.
The answer of course is the typical politicians on all levels PANDERING to the not in my back yard yokels that are the only dildos who are going to these town meetings and sadly are the people who still go out and vote. They say the smoke will be coming into Delta and the Fraser Valley and ruining air quality...I got news for ya assholes, as soon as you leave the lower mainland and go up north anywhere, you'll see that you have shit air quality as it is.
Here's an interesting little piece of information about said incinerators from Tsawassen Chief Kim Baird: (From the Abbotsford News, December 9th 2009)"The science speaks pretty clearly about that particular issue,"she said. "It's pretty compelling when a fireworks display lets out more emissions in 15 minutes than a waste-to-energy plant does in a year."
Now I am sure some will say, "oh yeah she's just drinking the Kool-Aid, she stands to get money so of course she is all for this." Well here's something for you chuckleheads that think that way. France has a giant trash to energy incinerator right in downtown Paris. In fact, it is not that far from the Eiffel Tower! The new plants such as this have many ways to get rid of odors and emissions.
Here is a review from this environmental website: Of course, modern plant is not like that; it is virtually non-polluting and certainly not smelling. A couple of years ago, I visited a plant in Lausanne, Switzerland and was impressed at just how odourless and clean it was.
With the Lower Mainland's dump in Cache Creek quickly approaching capacity along with most of our other options for trash disposal being the same state, why wouldn't this be streamlined in to action? Because our favorite pals in government can use to their advantage with the addle minded, NIMBY fucks that are going to vote for them and they can in turn push their parties agendas.
When you realize that none of the malformed inhuman mutants who inhabit the government don't care about you AT ALL and that they only want to push what they think is right, the sooner you'll realize that nothing you do or say really matters. It basically boils down to that you have to vote for the party that is least screwing you in the butthole with no lube...
Friday, October 1, 2010
Facebook...
With the new movie The Social Network coming out about the creator of Facebook (starring that kid that owes his whole career to Michael Cera turning roles down) what better time to write about that thing on the internet that we all can't live without?
Ever notice most people overstate the obvious on Facebook? Do you really have to click on CLICK LIKE IF YOU HATE KID TOUCHERS! to prove your against pedophiles?
But if I don't click like people will think I am for kid touching!
Isn't it the general consensus that you should be against that? Do you really need to broadcast that on Facebook?
Then people get on there and say they love their kids. No shit eh? Aren't you supposed to? I'd like it just one time if I seen someone say they hate their kids and wish they hadn't had that one drunken night at the Taco Time Drive Thru...
Of course there are people who have to state they like things that are so common that there is no way in the world nobody hasn't done them.
Joe Blow likes breathing, Joe Blow likes the sun, Joe Blow likes orgasms. WHO DOESN'T LIKE ORGASMS JOE !?!
Of course there are the things like:
Sally Dumb Ass likes: When random words are spelled in Alphabet soup!
Joe Blow likes: When you yawn and make your cat yawn too!
Joe Blow likes: When Blankets are warm out of the dryer!
NOBODY CARES!
It all amounts to wasting time when you are reduced to clicking like on such obvious things.
Then there are the things that are overtly weird to click like on. The things that other people see and think you are funny for clicking like on even though you didn't have the thought that thing is about. Stuff like:
Joe Blow likes: When homeless men get killed by dragons, building functioning sex toys out of Lego, that monkey that sniffs its own butt and falls out of a tree, snorting pixie sticks, drawing nude pictures of Gandhi, when your crap piles up an inch above the water in the toilet, click like if you hate it when your suit of armor chafes your groin, after sneezing you look in the kleenex there are spiders in it, when your nipple clamps seize up, giving hand jobs to get free bus rides, squirrel enemas, ordering pizzas with koalas on it, finding out your real dad's identity on Maury Povich, smelling Wayne Cox's shoes, Barbicide, Godzilla's taint, writing your name in the snow with your pee even though you're a woman, when you were young and your parents got murdered on Xmas morning, giving foreigners the wrong directions just for fun, doing bong hits with a horse, not aging gracefully, calling Dial-A-Prayer and trying to have phone sex, fingering an owl, reenacting the debut of the Shockmaster at my family reunion, that weird smell when they clean the Slurpee machine at 7-11, writing a novel after huffing paint, carving Smurfs, writing erotic braille, rubbing those tree air fresheners on your nuts when you have to go somewhere after going to the gym because you can't get to a shower, calling a vagina a lunch box, putting a sock on a cat's head and watching it walk backwards, deep throating a slinky, getting into a duel at a senior citizen's home, etc etc etc...
CLICKING LIKE! I AM ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT CLICKING LIKE ON SOMETHING!!! Damn that kid that invented Facebook! What the shit is going on anymore? I click like on shit all the time to tell everyone shit I like! I have an urge to let people know hey look at this stuff I think is cool so in turn maybe you'll think I am cool!
PS
Please click like on this when I post this on Facebook, it makes me feel like I am important...
Ever notice most people overstate the obvious on Facebook? Do you really have to click on CLICK LIKE IF YOU HATE KID TOUCHERS! to prove your against pedophiles?
But if I don't click like people will think I am for kid touching!
Isn't it the general consensus that you should be against that? Do you really need to broadcast that on Facebook?
Then people get on there and say they love their kids. No shit eh? Aren't you supposed to? I'd like it just one time if I seen someone say they hate their kids and wish they hadn't had that one drunken night at the Taco Time Drive Thru...
Of course there are people who have to state they like things that are so common that there is no way in the world nobody hasn't done them.
Joe Blow likes breathing, Joe Blow likes the sun, Joe Blow likes orgasms. WHO DOESN'T LIKE ORGASMS JOE !?!
Of course there are the things like:
Sally Dumb Ass likes: When random words are spelled in Alphabet soup!
Joe Blow likes: When you yawn and make your cat yawn too!
Joe Blow likes: When Blankets are warm out of the dryer!
NOBODY CARES!
It all amounts to wasting time when you are reduced to clicking like on such obvious things.
Then there are the things that are overtly weird to click like on. The things that other people see and think you are funny for clicking like on even though you didn't have the thought that thing is about. Stuff like:
Joe Blow likes: When homeless men get killed by dragons, building functioning sex toys out of Lego, that monkey that sniffs its own butt and falls out of a tree, snorting pixie sticks, drawing nude pictures of Gandhi, when your crap piles up an inch above the water in the toilet, click like if you hate it when your suit of armor chafes your groin, after sneezing you look in the kleenex there are spiders in it, when your nipple clamps seize up, giving hand jobs to get free bus rides, squirrel enemas, ordering pizzas with koalas on it, finding out your real dad's identity on Maury Povich, smelling Wayne Cox's shoes, Barbicide, Godzilla's taint, writing your name in the snow with your pee even though you're a woman, when you were young and your parents got murdered on Xmas morning, giving foreigners the wrong directions just for fun, doing bong hits with a horse, not aging gracefully, calling Dial-A-Prayer and trying to have phone sex, fingering an owl, reenacting the debut of the Shockmaster at my family reunion, that weird smell when they clean the Slurpee machine at 7-11, writing a novel after huffing paint, carving Smurfs, writing erotic braille, rubbing those tree air fresheners on your nuts when you have to go somewhere after going to the gym because you can't get to a shower, calling a vagina a lunch box, putting a sock on a cat's head and watching it walk backwards, deep throating a slinky, getting into a duel at a senior citizen's home, etc etc etc...
CLICKING LIKE! I AM ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT CLICKING LIKE ON SOMETHING!!! Damn that kid that invented Facebook! What the shit is going on anymore? I click like on shit all the time to tell everyone shit I like! I have an urge to let people know hey look at this stuff I think is cool so in turn maybe you'll think I am cool!
PS
Please click like on this when I post this on Facebook, it makes me feel like I am important...
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Headline News
Does anyone watch this channel? It makes me sick anytime I watch it. It's not because of the depressing news they report but HOW they report it. Let's not forget the shameless pandering towards old white trash dummies during and between news briefs. They must have done a demographic search and seen that's the only people watching it because it's channels like this that are the reason no young people watch the news.
Let's start with the advertisements on there first:All the ads on this channel are marketed towards the god fearing, All American, apple pie eating, old , white people. Every person in this commercial for some weight loss program was either A.) A tv star from 35 or more years ago or B.)some football player or coach from 35 or more years ago.
Do they think people are really that stupid? Maybe they are! Maybe there really is some big fat guy in his 50's going, "Well if two time Superbowl winning Coach DON SHULA can lose weight from Nutrisystem, SO CAN I!" Is there really an older woman out there in the viewing audience, who, because of Marie Osmond losing 50 pounds, will join right up because they go hey I remember her!
I tell you one thing right now, when I am older and they are trying to market ads towards my generation, I am not going to be getting on Nutrisystem because that girl from Blossom ballooned up in true Sally Struthers type fashion and needs some money.
Then comes in the life insurance commercial because if old white people aren't fat, they are probably still dying or going to die soon anyways. Let's scare up some business with our scary facts and figures. I guess when you get right down to it, it's a good business model. The companies probably see what demographic is watching and go, "Yep, all the addle minded 45-65 people with no pot to piss in in the first place are watching this channel, may as well scare what life is left in them into buying some life insurance!"
Then they dance around nude (in all likelihood) in some bizarre rich ad-executive manner that we don't know about. I figure most people in high places of authority or power do weird stuff because they have everything so they start having to engage in strange activities just to level off the high of being above the peons they rob.
Bill Gates probably has to get his head pushed under water with one of those electric bug zappers that look like a tennis racket while his wife sticks him with ears of corn just to bust a nut. I hear Steve Jobs pees on Bill Gates just because he can. He actually goes to his house and urinates on him. Then he gives him the Apple Shareholder's report (which is just a picture of Steve Jobs recreating Uncle Scrooge swimming in money and gold from the opening of Ducktales) that has a secret camera in it to catch Gates' reaction as he begins to get angry and cry and Steve Jobs masturbates to it in his jet propelled limousine that runs on Courvoisier and left over Microsoft Zunes.
Anyways, I digress...So after that comes one of those ridiculous ads for a quarter made out of part the World Trade Center. Who would buy coins anymore? Even older people that's who! No kid would get them on their own volition. Someone's grandpappy out there would go, "Oh Jesus H. Christ Mary, get the checkbook, little Jeremy would love a 9/11 coin! We can't have him forget about 9/11 now can we?" All kids use coins for is candy and pop machines or to flick and slingshot with a rubber band at the kids who are:
A.) Fat
B.) Skinny
C.) Nerds
D.) Visible minorities
E.) Physically/mentally handicapped
F.) Female
G.) Has like a weird arm or some other defect that kids laugh at
H.) Any combination of the above
The only other people I could see getting one would be those guys who have American flag boxers and subscribe and get erections to Guns and Ammo and have a bunker and a plan for when "the towelheads and other mud people try to 9/11 us agin..."
Now on to the actual programming...
NEWS NOW with the one and only:
Mike Galanos...
Mike Galanos (left) in his favorite concerned look pose, mourning the loss of Gary Coleman...
If you have never seen this dope, don't bother watching him, I'll save you the pain. So say there is a story about a kid getting their arms ripped off by an elevator in a scene oddly reminiscent of when Michael Ironside gets his arms ripped off in a scene from Total Recall.
Michael Ironside actually has nothing to do with this, I just watched Total Recall recently...
Now this Mike Galanos creep will get on there and tell you the story like he's some 1950's journalist with his sleeves rolled up, no jacket and one hand on his chin and tell you:
Mike Galanos: "Tragic tale out of Raleigh, North Carolina yesterday where uhhh a 4 year old girl had her arms ripped off in an elevator accident. Now I must warn you this is graphic... (Now good ol' Mike changes from his concerned everyman who just happens to be a news reporter voice into the non umm uhhhh standard news anchor vocal delivery) Witnesses at the scene say 4 year old Kailey May Dobbins was playing in a grain elevator near her house when suddenly it turned on accidentally while she was playing with a friend. The little girl was holding her friends hands and the elevator shot up unexpectedly, causing the little girl to lose her arms as she was wedged between the door and the wall.
(Of course his visibly upset face is interspersed with horrific images of the girl going to the hospital, lying in bed with no arms, smiling still somehow just to mess with your emotions, and finally coming out of the hospital with stumps...)
Now back to the shtick voice of concern:
I mean really, here this little girl has no arms uhhh now. I mean as a parent myself, I don't know how I could deal with my own child...you know, getting her arms ripped off ummm much like Michael Ironside in that Total Recall film, which I wouldn't let my kids watch by the way. Now let's go to the phones, here's Scooter, who uhh is actually from Raleigh, North Carolina, yes Scooter..."
Scooter: "Yeah hey there Mike, I just got to say I live right near that there elevator and I think it's terrible that lil' girl got her arms ripped off like Michael Ironside in Total Recall but at least she didn't have a psychic mutant growing out of her guts like that there one freak on that movie."
Mike Galanos: "Uhh yeah I think we can all agree on that Scooter and thanks for your call, I mean really to have such a tragedy befall a girl with so much of her life left a head of her. What are the odds of getting your arms ripped off in a elevator like Michael Ironside in Total Recall? Now let's get to your calls, this is Melinda from Jacksonville Florida, yes Melinda?"
Melinda: Hey, I jus' want ta send my prayers out to that girl what got her arms ripped off. Do you uhh know uhh whether or not she could blowed people's heads up like Michael Ironside in that there movie Scanners Mike?"
Mike Galanos: "Uhh I can't confirm that she has telepathic abilities like Michael Ironside in Scanners. Now lets check what everyone is saying from e-mail, Jdog1984 writes: My uncle lives in Raleigh and he said that elevator had killed some people before and figured that girl was lucky that was all that happened. Also, remember Michael Ironside was Jester in Top Gun? If that's the case ,and I want to stress (right now Galanos switches things up by taking his hand off his chin and almost doing a slow chopping motion at the camera while looking right into it) that this alleged at this point, but if that elevator had killed before, why wasn't it taken down? Let's go to Rudy from Atlanta on the phones, and yes also, to answer the other part of your email, I remember Michael Ironside was in 1986's Top Gun. Hello Rudy?"
Rudy: "Hey Mike, I know it's a tragic accident, what with going through what Michael Ironside went through in that elevator scene in Total Recall and not be the evil henchmen but instead a little 4 year old girl in real life and all but...I can't help but wonder where there the parents were in all of this?"
Mike Galanos: "Yes, that is a good point Rudy, ummm, yes, one must wonder what were the parents were, I mean I know myself, as a a a parent, that I would never let my children get disfigured in a accident reminiscent of Michael Ironside in Total Recall. Let's go to Michael from...uhhhh Toronto. Michael?"
Michael: "Hey, this is Michael Ironside, I just wanted to say I don't condone elevator accidents. Also I was in Highlander II."
Mike Galanos: "Now, and thanks for calling in Michael, I just want to say, nobody said you do condone elevator accidents that are eerily similar to that particular scene in Total Recall...
Now Michael Ironside references aside, Mike Galanos' segments are exactly how I described. He gets all fake worked up and says the most obvious things like he doesn't think teenagers should be having unprotected sex or rape is wrong or it's terrible when people lose stuff or their lives in natural disasters. It's such an obvious act that it's not even funny. Then he just turns it off and goes:
Mike Galanos: "Hey! Susan apparently there is a retard walrus that likes to wear hats and looks like Susan Boyle at the zoo up in New York!?"
Susan: "There sure is Mike and we have video up next!"
It's the typical newscast format of tragedy, tragedy, fluff piece, in general but somehow it's worse with this Mike Galanos character. He just makes me want to puke anytime I see him. Now you may ask why I even watch this horrendous news program in the first place, it's because I like to read the news scroll. I would mute it but I like to flip out for no apparent reason sometimes. Well actually, most of the time.
I would cover the most terrible thing on Headline News, which is of course Nancy Grace, but I think she is deserving of an entire blog post just on her and her unbelievably mind numbing and offensive show...
Let's start with the advertisements on there first:All the ads on this channel are marketed towards the god fearing, All American, apple pie eating, old , white people. Every person in this commercial for some weight loss program was either A.) A tv star from 35 or more years ago or B.)some football player or coach from 35 or more years ago.
Do they think people are really that stupid? Maybe they are! Maybe there really is some big fat guy in his 50's going, "Well if two time Superbowl winning Coach DON SHULA can lose weight from Nutrisystem, SO CAN I!" Is there really an older woman out there in the viewing audience, who, because of Marie Osmond losing 50 pounds, will join right up because they go hey I remember her!
I tell you one thing right now, when I am older and they are trying to market ads towards my generation, I am not going to be getting on Nutrisystem because that girl from Blossom ballooned up in true Sally Struthers type fashion and needs some money.
Then comes in the life insurance commercial because if old white people aren't fat, they are probably still dying or going to die soon anyways. Let's scare up some business with our scary facts and figures. I guess when you get right down to it, it's a good business model. The companies probably see what demographic is watching and go, "Yep, all the addle minded 45-65 people with no pot to piss in in the first place are watching this channel, may as well scare what life is left in them into buying some life insurance!"
Then they dance around nude (in all likelihood) in some bizarre rich ad-executive manner that we don't know about. I figure most people in high places of authority or power do weird stuff because they have everything so they start having to engage in strange activities just to level off the high of being above the peons they rob.
Bill Gates probably has to get his head pushed under water with one of those electric bug zappers that look like a tennis racket while his wife sticks him with ears of corn just to bust a nut. I hear Steve Jobs pees on Bill Gates just because he can. He actually goes to his house and urinates on him. Then he gives him the Apple Shareholder's report (which is just a picture of Steve Jobs recreating Uncle Scrooge swimming in money and gold from the opening of Ducktales) that has a secret camera in it to catch Gates' reaction as he begins to get angry and cry and Steve Jobs masturbates to it in his jet propelled limousine that runs on Courvoisier and left over Microsoft Zunes.
Anyways, I digress...So after that comes one of those ridiculous ads for a quarter made out of part the World Trade Center. Who would buy coins anymore? Even older people that's who! No kid would get them on their own volition. Someone's grandpappy out there would go, "Oh Jesus H. Christ Mary, get the checkbook, little Jeremy would love a 9/11 coin! We can't have him forget about 9/11 now can we?" All kids use coins for is candy and pop machines or to flick and slingshot with a rubber band at the kids who are:
A.) Fat
B.) Skinny
C.) Nerds
D.) Visible minorities
E.) Physically/mentally handicapped
F.) Female
G.) Has like a weird arm or some other defect that kids laugh at
H.) Any combination of the above
The only other people I could see getting one would be those guys who have American flag boxers and subscribe and get erections to Guns and Ammo and have a bunker and a plan for when "the towelheads and other mud people try to 9/11 us agin..."
Now on to the actual programming...
NEWS NOW with the one and only:
Mike Galanos...
Mike Galanos (left) in his favorite concerned look pose, mourning the loss of Gary Coleman...If you have never seen this dope, don't bother watching him, I'll save you the pain. So say there is a story about a kid getting their arms ripped off by an elevator in a scene oddly reminiscent of when Michael Ironside gets his arms ripped off in a scene from Total Recall.
Michael Ironside actually has nothing to do with this, I just watched Total Recall recently...Now this Mike Galanos creep will get on there and tell you the story like he's some 1950's journalist with his sleeves rolled up, no jacket and one hand on his chin and tell you:
Mike Galanos: "Tragic tale out of Raleigh, North Carolina yesterday where uhhh a 4 year old girl had her arms ripped off in an elevator accident. Now I must warn you this is graphic... (Now good ol' Mike changes from his concerned everyman who just happens to be a news reporter voice into the non umm uhhhh standard news anchor vocal delivery) Witnesses at the scene say 4 year old Kailey May Dobbins was playing in a grain elevator near her house when suddenly it turned on accidentally while she was playing with a friend. The little girl was holding her friends hands and the elevator shot up unexpectedly, causing the little girl to lose her arms as she was wedged between the door and the wall.
(Of course his visibly upset face is interspersed with horrific images of the girl going to the hospital, lying in bed with no arms, smiling still somehow just to mess with your emotions, and finally coming out of the hospital with stumps...)
Now back to the shtick voice of concern:
I mean really, here this little girl has no arms uhhh now. I mean as a parent myself, I don't know how I could deal with my own child...you know, getting her arms ripped off ummm much like Michael Ironside in that Total Recall film, which I wouldn't let my kids watch by the way. Now let's go to the phones, here's Scooter, who uhh is actually from Raleigh, North Carolina, yes Scooter..."
Scooter: "Yeah hey there Mike, I just got to say I live right near that there elevator and I think it's terrible that lil' girl got her arms ripped off like Michael Ironside in Total Recall but at least she didn't have a psychic mutant growing out of her guts like that there one freak on that movie."
Mike Galanos: "Uhh yeah I think we can all agree on that Scooter and thanks for your call, I mean really to have such a tragedy befall a girl with so much of her life left a head of her. What are the odds of getting your arms ripped off in a elevator like Michael Ironside in Total Recall? Now let's get to your calls, this is Melinda from Jacksonville Florida, yes Melinda?"
Melinda: Hey, I jus' want ta send my prayers out to that girl what got her arms ripped off. Do you uhh know uhh whether or not she could blowed people's heads up like Michael Ironside in that there movie Scanners Mike?"
Mike Galanos: "Uhh I can't confirm that she has telepathic abilities like Michael Ironside in Scanners. Now lets check what everyone is saying from e-mail, Jdog1984 writes: My uncle lives in Raleigh and he said that elevator had killed some people before and figured that girl was lucky that was all that happened. Also, remember Michael Ironside was Jester in Top Gun? If that's the case ,and I want to stress (right now Galanos switches things up by taking his hand off his chin and almost doing a slow chopping motion at the camera while looking right into it) that this alleged at this point, but if that elevator had killed before, why wasn't it taken down? Let's go to Rudy from Atlanta on the phones, and yes also, to answer the other part of your email, I remember Michael Ironside was in 1986's Top Gun. Hello Rudy?"
Rudy: "Hey Mike, I know it's a tragic accident, what with going through what Michael Ironside went through in that elevator scene in Total Recall and not be the evil henchmen but instead a little 4 year old girl in real life and all but...I can't help but wonder where there the parents were in all of this?"
Mike Galanos: "Yes, that is a good point Rudy, ummm, yes, one must wonder what were the parents were, I mean I know myself, as a a a parent, that I would never let my children get disfigured in a accident reminiscent of Michael Ironside in Total Recall. Let's go to Michael from...uhhhh Toronto. Michael?"
Michael: "Hey, this is Michael Ironside, I just wanted to say I don't condone elevator accidents. Also I was in Highlander II."
Mike Galanos: "Now, and thanks for calling in Michael, I just want to say, nobody said you do condone elevator accidents that are eerily similar to that particular scene in Total Recall...
Now Michael Ironside references aside, Mike Galanos' segments are exactly how I described. He gets all fake worked up and says the most obvious things like he doesn't think teenagers should be having unprotected sex or rape is wrong or it's terrible when people lose stuff or their lives in natural disasters. It's such an obvious act that it's not even funny. Then he just turns it off and goes:
Mike Galanos: "Hey! Susan apparently there is a retard walrus that likes to wear hats and looks like Susan Boyle at the zoo up in New York!?"
Susan: "There sure is Mike and we have video up next!"
It's the typical newscast format of tragedy, tragedy, fluff piece, in general but somehow it's worse with this Mike Galanos character. He just makes me want to puke anytime I see him. Now you may ask why I even watch this horrendous news program in the first place, it's because I like to read the news scroll. I would mute it but I like to flip out for no apparent reason sometimes. Well actually, most of the time.
I would cover the most terrible thing on Headline News, which is of course Nancy Grace, but I think she is deserving of an entire blog post just on her and her unbelievably mind numbing and offensive show...
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